Work trips give you the ideal opportunity of being a low-down, dirty tourist. I mean when else do you get the chance to ride the great big open-top bus tour without those disparaging looks from your fellow 'travellers'? Your colleagues are a different breed to your friends and those who you'd choose to travel or go on holiday with. They couldn't care less what you do while you're away, and certainly don't pass any judgements when you choose to do a few tacky touristy things. So what better way to spend the few hours of spare time you've managed to snatch from work than on board an open-top tour bus, exploring a city? Yes those very same ones us Londoners laugh at when we see the tourists on the top deck getting doused with buckets of water from the clouds of our capital city. Well that was me last week, in Belfast.
It was the morning after a late drinking session with the client and those colleagues, so we were all a little hung-over. But forget the Bloody Mary at breakfast, the best cure is having Ulster spitting rain in your face, and running a gale through your hair. So refreshing. It really woke me up, and I learnt pretty much the whole history of Belfast in an hour and a half. I now know far more about Belfast than I do about London. Go on, test me. Well I'll give you the highlights anyway. Here goes.
I know why Ulster has a red hand as its symbol. Basically the captain of the Viking boat that sailed forth to conquer any mound of earth it came across spotted Northern Ireland and told his crew, "The first man whose hand touches that land, can claim it as his own." To which one of the Vikings responded by cutting off his hand and lobbing it towards the land that became Ulster. He probably did own the land for a bit, well for the 5 minutes he had left before he bled to death. And did you know that the Titanic was built in Belfast? Apparently when people ask the Northern Irish why they're so proud of building the Titanic even though it sank, they retort, "Well there was nothing wrong with it when it left." Fair enough.
All this and more I found out through the dulcet Belfast tones of the guide (which actually sound a little Scottish, because in the 18th Century some Scots went over there to live after William of Orange's victory over the Catholics, and became part of the Protestant community. A lot of kids born around that time were named William or Billy after the new King, and when they grew up many of them emigrated to the US and particularly Nashville, Tennessee. They went to live in the hills and became known as the hillbillies. Yes, the people of Northern Ireland will say what with the Titanic and the hillbillies, they've got a lot to be proud of) and because you're travelling through the north, south, east and west of the city, you get a good overview of Belfast as you hear about its history. And you realise that a great deal of building work is going on, most of which is for blocks of flats. Belfast was once the city with the most car parks, due to all the car bombs that went off, destroying buildings. Now after 10 years of peace, it seems to be the city with the most cranes.
It's also been known to have the best social housing in Europe, and indeed the bus went past a lovely old people's home consisting of beautiful Georgian buildings. Yet, as in London, the powers-that-be appear hell bent on destroying old buildings and erecting new, modern ones. They should heed the message of the heartfelt graffiti sprayed on the walls surrounding one of the many construction sites in the city on the bus tour route, "Regeneration, not gentrification. Local needs ignored over profit. Meet our need, not developer's greed."
Actually the sentiment is echoed across the Irish Sea, and down through every city, town and village to London and beyond. But it seems like the Northern Irish are speaking up with a louder voice than anyone in London. Maybe us Londoners need to take the great big open-top bus tour around our city and its suburbs, so we understand and respect it more, stop taking it for granted and give enough of a damn to fight for its survival - preserving quirky old buildings, pubs, cinemas and parks before they're all turned into luxury flats and supermarkets. You see it seems like the best place to be a tourist is in fact, where you live.
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