Saturday, November 15th, 2008

I'm a celebrity now. Every time I go out I have people coming up to me, wanting to shake my hand and have their photo taken with me. And some even ask for my autograph. Girls, women, men, Mums and politicians. They look at me with wide, eager eyes, saying what a lovely face I have and talk about how excited they are to meet me. I'm invited into people's homes and hotel rooms. I go somewhere to take a look at a beautiful view or an amazing piece of architecture, and I have more people gazing at me. Families include me in their holiday photos for the mantelpiece. I smile and I get a hundred smiles back.

I'm like, but do you know who I am? I'm Carolyn Evans goddammit! I'm just a middle-class gal from the suburbs. But that doesn't seem to faze them, and they just ask for another photo, this time with the 10th friend in the group. Oh yes, I'm a celebrity. Well, in India at least. And now that I'm back in London, I miss those glamorous, heady days when southern Asia was my oyster and Bollywood beckoned. I'm filled with nostalgia for those afternoons of tea drinking with the Chief Minister, and when it was only a matter of time before I'd be fronting Laboratoires Garnier's campaign for 'Light', a skin lightening cream that prevents 'dark spots'– take a look at the India folder in 'my pics' to see the poster I spotted in Delhi. Strange to us, but then fake tan is probably a bizarre idea to Indians.

So it's been tough, but I'm slowly acclimatising to obscurity. I felt like last year's X Factor winner when I first came back, and thought one of those charity workers with a clipboard and pen on the street outside work wanted my autograph, but I think I'm over the worst now. I've become accustomed to being ignored on the tube and barely glanced at in the street (with the exception of the guy on the 7th till at Sainsbury's, who always gives me the eye). Actually I have my freedom back now, and can go to any restaurant I choose without some stranger sitting down opposite me, begging to take my photo.

In fact, I think the Indian tourist board should use this celeb-factor to market parts of the country to X Factor auditionees. Something along the lines of: 'You don't need the X Factor to have the Celeb-factor. Just visit India.' They could have posters outside the audition room. I'd suggest that they specifically mention the state of Bihar. It's the poorest area in India, so it could do with the money. And it's also bandit country.