Last weekend I discovered it was possible to fall in love in just 30 seconds. In that moment my order at the bar and need for a pee was instantly forgotten, and I was left at the mercy of my new love. Like a useless puppet under their control, my arms and legs moved only at their whim, while my glazed eyes were fixed firmly in their direction and a gormless smile was painted on my face.
Yes I fell in love in 30 seconds, with a ukulele. And not just one. There was a whole orgy of ukuleles titillating the ears of everyone in the Prince Albert. Ok, so maybe it was more like lust. You see, contrary to what you might have previously thought, ukuleles are actually pretty sexy. As far as musical instruments go, it's normally the electric guitar that gets all the groupies, but that's because it doesn't usually share the stage with a ukulele.
The band's called The Dulwich Ukulele Club, so the latent raw sex and energy they unleash comes as a bit of a surprise. But this makes the experience all the more stimulating, and you find yourself stamping your feet and jumping up and down in wild abandonment, as the strings pluck faster and faster, building to an electrifying climax that leaves your body trembling.
They're like Gogol Bordello would have been if they'd grown up in a middle-class area of South East London, shared knitting patterns and practised in their local parish hall. But if you close your eyes, they're like Gogol Bordello on crack. So I found out it was best to see them through closed eyes. Well after all, like the old saying goes, you don't look at the mantlepiece while you're poking the fire.
No comments:
Post a Comment